William Wallace (“Willie”) Lincoln was born December 21, 1850 in Springfield, Illinois and died February 20, 1862 in Washington City (renamed Washington D.C. in 1871). This photo of Willie was taken in 1859 or 1860. (Provided photo — Wikimedia Commons)

Historians consistently rank Abraham Lincoln as the greatest U.S. president. Without his leadership and political brilliance, the Union may well have lost the Civil War. Born 50 miles south of Louisville, Kentucky on Feb. 12, 1809, his personal life was one of heartbreak and loss.

His brother Thomas, born 1812 or 1813, and named after his father, lived only three days. In late 1816, the Lincoln family moved to Indiana where they were joined by his mother Nancy’s Aunt Elizabeth and her husband Thomas Sparrow, and Abraham’s cousin Dennis. Two years later, Nancy, Elizabeth, Thomas Sparrow and Dennis died of “milk sick,” likely a result of drinking the milk of cows that had grazed on poisonous white snakeroot.

In 1819, his father married Sarah Bush Johnson, a widow with three children, who was instrumental in nurturing young Lincoln’s desire for self improvement via books borrowed from friends and neighbors. Historian James McPherson writes that Lincoln’s father “neither encouraged nor understood his son’s intellectual ambition, considering him lazy, preferring reading over working.”

Lincoln biographer David Herbert Donald writes that Thomas Lincoln didn’t tolerate his son’s insolence and sometimes struck him if he intruded in adult conversations. Donald notes that in all his published writings, Lincoln never “had one favorable word about his father.”

In 1828, Lincoln’s sister Sarah died giving birth (the baby also died) three weeks shy of turning 21. Lincoln and Sarah were close, especially after their mother’s death. It’s likely she taught him his first “letters and numbers.”

According to McPherson, one aspect of Lincoln’s complex personality “was a deeply reflective, almost brooding quality that sometimes descended into serious depression.” Lincoln referred to this condition as “the hypo,” for hypochondria as it was called at that time.

One of the most controversial aspects of Lincoln’s life is his alleged romance with Ann Rutledge, whom he met in 1835. She was an attractive woman, five feet tall, described by an acquaintance “as pure and kind of heart as an angel, full of love — kindness — sympathy.” It’s unclear (and hotly debated) if Lincoln and Ann were formally engaged or whether this “engagement” was “conditional” on some factor(s), possibly Lincoln’s financial well-being.

The summer of 1835 was one of the hottest and wettest in Illinois history. In August, Ann became ill with “brain fever,” probably typhoid fever caused by contaminated water. She lost consciousness and died on Aug. 25. In a 1990 article, historian John Simon stated the “available evidence overwhelmingly indicates that Lincoln so loved Ann that her death plunged him into severe depression.” Many historians reject Simon’s conclusion about the intensity of Lincoln’s feelings for Rutledge.

McPherson writes that in 1836, Lincoln had a “half-hearted” relationship with Mary Owens that fizzled, likely to the relief of both parties.

In 1840, when he was 31 years of age, Lincoln met 21 year-old Mary Todd, the sophisticated, well-educated daughter of a Kentucky slave holder. Mary had moved to Springfield to spend time with her sister, Elizabeth. Lincoln and Mary fell in love and were engaged in 1840.

Lincoln grew doubtful about his fitness for marriage and broke off the engagement, once again plummeting into despair. He told a close friend that he would “be more than willing to die,” except “that he had done nothing to make any human being remember that he lived.” This depression eventually lifted and Lincoln wed Mary Todd in November 1842.

McPherson notes that while Lincoln got along with everyone, Mary was often short-tempered and quarreled with almost everybody. John Hay, President Lincoln’s private secretary, dubbed Mary “the hell-cat.”

Lincoln’s firstborn, Robert, 1843-1926, was the only child of the Lincolns to survive beyond his teenage years. Second son Edward (Eddy), born in 1846, was a sickly child. Seriously ill with “pulmonary tuberculosis,” he died in February 1850. William (Willie) Lincoln was born in December 1850, less than a year after Eddy died.

Near death in January 1851, Lincoln’s father wanted to say goodbye to his son. Lincoln refused to make the 80-mile trip, stating, “If we could meet now, it is doubtful whether it would not be more painful than pleasant.” He did not attend his father’s funeral.

In February 1862, Willie and his brother Thomas “Tad” (born in 1853) had fallen ill with “bilious fever,” typhoid fever contracted from polluted White House water. While Tad eventually recovered, Willie died on Feb. 20. His parents were devastated, overwhelmed with grief.

Donald writes that Mary “took to her bed” for three weeks, so despondent that she could not attend his funeral and never again entered the room where her son died. Mary began to visit spiritualists in the hope of communicating with Willie, then came to believe she could connect with the spirits of her deceased sons on her own. “Willie lives,” she said. “He comes to me every night … Little Eddy is sometimes with him.”

On one occasion, Lincoln allegedly pointed to a “lunatic asylum” near the White House and told Mary: “Mother do you see that large white building on the hill yonder? Try and control your grief, or it will drive you mad, and we may have to send you there.”

With Willie’s death, Mary’s bizarre behavior, Civil War casualties mounting and the republic’s fate uncertain, Lincoln’s physical and emotional well-being declined. Regarding the latter, he reputedly told a visitor in December 1862 that, “If there is a place worse than hell, I am in it.”

Much has been written about Mary Lincoln’s temperament and “mental illness” with dozens of maladies offered as possible explanations. In 2016, cardiologist Dr. John Sotos wrote that only “pernicious anemia,” an autoimmune condition that prevents the body from absorbing vitamin B12, explains Mary’s many physical and mental problems including irritability, depression, confusion, delusions and hallucinations.

On April 14, 1865, five days after General Lee surrendered to General Grant, Lincoln allegedly said to Mary: “We must both be more cheerful in the future — between the war and the loss of our darling Willie, we have been very miserable.”

That evening Abraham Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford’s Theatre and died the next morning. He was 56 years old.

——

George J. Bryjak lives in Bloomingdale and is retired after 24 years of teaching sociology at the University of San Diego.

–

Sources:

–

Baker, J. (2008) Mary Todd Lincoln: a Biography, W.W. Norton & Company: New York

Donald, D. H. (1995) Lincoln, Touchstone Books, New York

Fraga, K. (2024) “The short and tragic life of William Wallace Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln’s favorite son,” May 17, All Things History, www.allthingshistory.com

Grady, D. (2018) “Was Mary Todd Lincoln Driven ‘Mad’ by a Vitamin Deficiency?” July 8, The New York Times, www.nytimes.com

Keckley, E. (2014, first edition 1868) Behind the Scenes: Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the White House, Fall River Press: New York

Kunhardt, P, P, Kunhardt and P. Kunhardt (2008) Lincoln: The Making of an American Icon, Alfred E. Knopf: New York

Luhn, B. (2024) “New Survey of Scholars Finds Lincoln Remains America’s Greatest President”

University of Houston, www.uh.edu

McPherson, J. (2009) Abraham Lincoln, Oxford University Press, New York

“Pernicious Anemia” (accessed 2025) The Cleveland Clinic, www.myclevelandclinic.org

Pruitt, S. (2018) “Mary Todd Lincoln May Have Had Pernicious Anemia” August 21, History,

www.history.com

“Sarah Lincoln Grigsby” (accessed 2025) The National Park Service, www.nps.gov

Simon, J. (1990) “Abraham Lincoln and Ann Rutledge,” University of Michigan Digital Library Collections, https://quod.lib.umich.edu

“Thomas Lincoln Jr.” (accessed 2025) The National Park Service, www.nps.gov

Trenholm, S. (2012) “Abraham Lincoln, Mary Owens and the accidental engagement” April 8 The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, www.gilderlehrman.org

“With Malice Toward None: The Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Exhibition: The Presidency” (accessed 2025) Library of Congress, www.loc.gov