In a local gift shop’s corner, is a coaster display from Drinks on Me, a small Vermont company specializing in products with humorous lines about modern life. Old age, impatience and parenting are common themes. These witticisms incite two primary reactions. Some people discreetly call their companions over and giggle while furtively glancing about. Others raucously read them aloud punctuating the humor with belly laughs. The latter are my people.

One of the tamer coasters reads, “My kids wanted to know what it was like growing up in the 80s, so I took their cell phones and turned off the WiFi.” Obviously, the implication is that modern-day teens couldn’t survive without such technological connections. It’s our generation’s version of “When I was your age, we walked to school uphill both ways.” But the joke is on us. Even though we were carefree teens roaming under the radar, as modern parents we have become dependent on electronic surveillance.

I’ll admit I am a bit late to this game. I resisted logging into my children’s school portals because it seemed like spying. Fortunately, my kids were responsible. If there was a significant problem, I just figured someone would let me know.

About 10 years ago, I discovered the next step of parental surveillance, and I was horrified. While chatting with another mom waiting to pick up our children from a supervised trip, she announced that the bus was five miles away.

Had her son called?

No.

Was she psychic?

Definitely not. She had a location tracker on his phone. The mom hadn’t accomplished anything that day because she was too busy watching his movements.

Tracked her son’s movements? All day? Truthfully, it wasn’t like I had achieved much myself: I ran with the dog, read a book and maybe did some laundry. Still, I silently swore to myself that I would never invade my kids’ privacy by virtually stalking them.

But then … my oldest daughter went to college. She chose to share her location with me for safety’s sake. While I never used this ability to remove her from nefarious situations, I did locate her phone when she left it in an Uber, forgot it in a restaurant and dropped it in New York City.

By the time my youngest daughter was in high school, her entire friend group had installed Life 360 on their phones. My initial reaction was that these girls were awesome friends, keeping each other safe. The reality was far different. They used the app for their convenience. “We just want to know when our friends will pick us up. We don’t want to stand around waiting.” With this nonchalant attitude about tracking, additional parental spying didn’t seem like a big deal.

Once again, I was reluctant to use this ability. But a spur-of-the-moment shopping trip during questionable weather tested my resolve. After some snow squalls, I checked her location — the mall parking lot. As the weather intensified, I checked again. Still the mall parking lot. Two hours later, I sneaked a peak, expecting to see her close to home. But no, it was still the mall parking lot. Then I noticed her location hadn’t been updated in five hours.

Had she:

Lost her phone?

Been in a minor collision and didn’t want to tell me?

Been kidnapped and left her phone behind?

Mild panic started to overtake me. I sent a text, no answer. I told myself she must be in a service dead zone. I sent another text asking her to call. No call.

Finally, I admitted my distress to my husband. He called and placed her on speaker when she answered.

“Hey, is there something wrong with Mom’s phone? I tried to get a hold of her all afternoon, but the calls and texts won’t go through.”

Later, I checked my phone contacts. Sure enough, I had accidentally blocked her. My family just sighed and shook their heads.

Once again, my stress was a product of my overactive imagination. An entire day had been lost to needless worry. Despite my family’s disdain, I know I’m not alone because Drinks on Me has me covered. Even though the time of day is wrong, the sentiment is the same. “It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them. — Mom”