Sharing joy can be as simple as sharing a photo of a snow covered tree. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

One middle school day, my daughter came home beaming because she had spent the morning sprinkling joy. Her art teacher had asked the students to think of ways to complete small acts of kindness. The action was free and spontaneous, with the result of spreading happiness. My daughter got as much from the giving as any of the receivers. The goal was to put someone else’s needs before her own. It also allowed us to discuss small ways to help people without being intrusive. 

Of course, there are always lessons for adults and children when it comes to trusting a small or large act of kindness. Those small acts help us understand we can have power over our situations. A friend described kindness as simple as the Choose a Hand game. The odds are 50% in finding the object hiding in either the right or left hand. We make hundreds if not thousands of choices every day, like being presented with two hands held out in front of us. We can choose the hand outstretched with kindness or the one filled with anger. 

I decided as I walked around town and finished my holiday shopping to see all the different ways that people were showing thoughtfulness without even trying. I saw people carrying packages and helping people across the street. It’s a bit cliche (I apologize for the Grinch in me), but then I started noticing the waving and smiling. I heard people giving directions and dinner recommendations. I saw people giving up their coveted parking spot and letting someone move ahead in a long grocery line. It is the simple things.

The problem with large acts of kindness is trust. We are told people can be dangerous and to be careful. We shield our children, with good reason, from interacting with strangers. We also are in charge of the situation so they can model our behavior. We find the balance between fear and our humanity.

We recently celebrated my mother-in-law’s 90th birthday. On the welcome table, we put index cards and a box. We asked each guest to write down a memory about the birthday girl. Later, guests gave speeches and read memories. The constant theme was her kindness and generosity. She is the person who smiles at strangers on the street or compliments a new hairstyle. She notices the small miracles on an average day. The attention embarrassed her because she didn’t recognize her impact on people with each small, kind decision. 

Sometimes kindness shows up in unexpected ways. It isn’t a Christmas checklist where we expect everything we’ve asked to be fulfilled. It is a matter of deliberately choosing helpfulness. I hope to continue the spontaneous tradition of sprinkles of helpfulness or joy. It’s the little things, all the time, like the actions of my mother-in-law, my daughter’s teachers, and all the other incredible role models.