Barbara Brigham Kellogg Stowe

She was born in November 1941 at Buffalo Children’s Hospital.

Well-known in her Buffalo community, Barbara attended Elmwood Franklin School, the Park School of Buffalo and Buffalo Seminary, graduating high school from the Madeira School in Greenway, Virginia. During her debut in 1963, she was crowned “Snowball Queen,” an honor bestowed upon her by her peers. She then matriculated at Vassar College with the class of 1963 where she established deep friendships which she maintained for the next 65 years following a transfer to the University of Buffalo where she completed a bachelor of arts in mathematics.

In 1964, Barbara married John M. Herndon II of Wilmington, Delaware, despite a brief case of mistaken identity. They established their first home together in Nashville, Tennessee, birthplace of their two children. Barbara quickly assimilated into the Nashville community, joining the Junior League of Nashville and volunteering at Cheekwood Estate & Gardens and the Nashville Symphony.

In 1970, John and Barbie returned to Buffalo to be closer to family, and Barbie continued to volunteer with the Junior League of Buffalo and serve on the Board of the Elmwood Franklin School while prioritizing tennis and an occasional game of squash or golf with her parents.

In 1976, a career transfer moved the Herndons to Bronxville, New York, a block away from the Bronxville Field Club where Barbie solidified new friendships, honed her tennis game and was introduced to a whole new world of paddle tennis, enabling her to play outdoor racquet sports year round, always preferring the more social doubles games.

Beginning in the late 1970s, Barbara pursued advanced degrees in psychology, completing a master of arts in psychology at NYU in the early 1980s and a PhD in clinical psychology from Fordham University in the early 1990s. To qualify for licensure, she interned at the Jewish Board of Family and Children Services in the Bronx after which she practiced briefly at Albert Einstein College of Medicine before beginning private practice treating adolescents which allowed sufficient time for volunteering, tennis, paddle and time with friends. Barbara and John divorced in 1991 following 26 years of marriage.

At midnight on Jan. 1, 2000, on the frozen surface of their favorite lake in the Adirondacks, Barb married William A. Stowe, 1964 U.S. Olympic gold medalist in rowing who stroked the eight-man crew to victory in Tokyo. Bill and Barb made their home in Lake Placid, where Barb treated adolescents at Mountain Lake Academy and later served as a clinical supervisor at the Lake Placid Elementary School. Living in the Adirondacks facilitated more time with Barb’s sister and niece, and with her children, grandchildren, extended family and lifelong friends at her Adirondack family home.

Together, Barb and Bill traveled widely and often visiting their broad network of friends and attending rowing regattas, including those of their granddaughters with the ever-present gold medal bringing good fortune.

In Lake Placid, Barbie continued to build deep friendships with neighbors, tennis and paddle buddies, and through a women’s book club while serving her communities as treasurer to the Board of Directors of Mirror Visions and as a director on the Board of North Country Public Libraries. During the last years of his life, she served as devoted caretaker of Bill, who developed dementia but was ever himself.

Following Bill’s death in 2016 and a cancer diagnosis in 2017, Barbara moved to the Bay Area in California to be near her son, Jack and his family. She successfully battled breast cancer, only to experience kidney failure in 2018 from which she fought valiantly to recover and did so, avoiding dialysis for the five years preceding her death. Unable to resume racquet sports, Barb relished spending time with her California grandchildren, hosting bonding dinners with each and attending sporting events and theatrical and choral performances. She continued to travel the world with a close-knit group of Vassar friends, and Europe and rowing events with her Tennessee granddaughters, the last being the 2017 Dad Vail Regatta when she donated Bill’s gold medal to Vesper Boat Club (see Bill’s personal account “All Together”).

Throughout this time, Barb nurtured her established friendships while building a new network in California to include cherished friends and family from Buffalo, Vassar and the Adirondacks, and new friends whom she met in her Bay Area neighborhood, through her work as a volunteer with the San Mateo Adult School Citizenship program and in her public library book club.

During the last seven months of her life, Barbara experienced a series of strokes that gradually diminished her capacities to move and speak, but she never lost the ability to share her love, humor and insights with the dozens of family and friends who visited and communicated during this time. True to form, she left behind a world less bright without her presence but much richer for her friendships and generosity of spirit. She was our shoulder in a storm.

In death, Barbara follows her second husband William Arthur Stowe, sister Patricia W. Kellogg, parents Susanne W. & George B. Kellogg, grandparents Florence B. & Edgar F. Wendt and Margaret B. & George S. Kellogg, and aunts Phyllis W. Pierce (Frederick), Martha K. Leigh (Lance) (Bill Price), Gertrude K. Hopkins (Jack) & Kathryn K. Atwater (Eastwood) and cousin Ann Alford Surdam (Manson).

Barbara is survived by her daughter Susanne Herndon Frensley (Chip) of Nashville; son John M. Herndon III (Nina) of San Mateo; grandchildren Katherine Frensley (fiance Tin Nguyen), Eliza Frensley, Caroline Herndon, John Herndon IV and Alexandra Herndon; brothers George (Bart) Kellogg (Debbie) and their children and Edgar Kellogg (Glenda) and his children; aunt Carol Kellogg Wyndham (John) and their children; cousins Wendy Pierce and her children and grandchildren and Frederick Pierce (Lisa) and their children; cousins Diana Dillaway Olsen (David) and her son and David Alford (Shirley); and first husband John M. Herndon II.

Barbara will be celebrated during a life remembrance in the Adirondacks from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. Saturday, July 20 and in California (date TBA). Special thanks to Mission Hospice and the caregivers of Sage Eldercare for providing extraordinarily loving care all the way to her end of life.

In lieu of flowers, share condolences at www.Legacy.com; contributions to any of the following are appreciated: your local public library; your local citizenship program; The Wild Center, 45 Museum Drive, Tupper Lake, NY 12986; or the music ministry of West End United Methodist Church, 2200 West End Ave., Nashville, TN 37203.