A mother robin on her nest. (Provided photo — Diane Chase)

When my son was very young, a friend came to help while I was on a business trip. She was doing us a huge favor. She wanted to spend time with my son, and I had to travel for work. It was a win-win situation. As a new parent, I struggled to stand my ground and ask for help. Sometimes it felt like a parenting-style battleground. I felt my knowledge regarding my child wasn’t good enough, that someone with different or more experience should carry more weight.

As I went off on my trip, I gave my friend some tips and rules about the daily schedule. For example, my child struggled to get to school in the morning. We developed a routine and learned what did and didn’t work. Two rules we asked our friend to follow were not to give our son sugar or let him watch TV in the mornings. With a sugar-loaded breakfast, he became hyper and couldn’t concentrate. TV was a treat and so consuming he would throw a fit when it was time to turn it off. How did we know? We saw it all in action.

My friend said not to worry, and my son was in good hands. She casually mentioned that the things we worried about had never hurt any of her children. My husband and I returned to find no issues. We thanked our friend and went about our business. We later found out that my friend had done what she thought was best, including some morning television. When the school bus stopped for pick up, the driver waited while my friend chased my son around in circles and through the woods. When he was finally retrieved and deposited onto the bus, the driver calmly asked, “Oh, I guess he watched a bit of TV this morning?”

It has become a joke in the family since we did know what was best. It wasn’t because we felt our “rules” were ironclad, but because we had figured out what worked for our family. Though our friend didn’t follow our advice, no harm was done. The event did help me realize that I did know what works for our family.

I still feel parenting advice is terrific as long as there isn’t an expectation of it being followed. It really should be more parenting suggestions. I also believe in being grateful for the help given. Just because someone offers support doesn’t mean they shouldn’t follow the family rules. Follow your instincts and know that sometimes parents do know best.