Ah, gingerbread - that Fig Newton of holiday treats that defies easy definition, that John F. Kennedy of buttery biscuits that dares to be different.
To the Gingerbread Man, gingerbread was everything: His larynx, his big toe, his muscular thighs that enabled running that was superior to that of the man, the wife, the pig, the cow and horse.
To Hansel and Gretel, the malnourished children of an alcoholic* woodcutter, the witch's gingerbread house represented an irresistible treat, one that would inevitably leave an elderly woman burning alive in a child-sized oven.
They don’t make ‘em like this nowadays. This 18-pound gingerbread house was built by Brett Rogers for last year’s annual Joy to the Children benefit at the Mirror Lake Inn in Lake Placid. And while it took much longer to make, you can watch it being built before your eyes on YouTube.
(Photo courtesy of YouTube)
And yet to Brett Rogers, gingerbread is an artist's palette. Only, instead of paint, Brett uses frosting. And awesomeness.
Brett created an 18-pound gingerbread house for the 2007 Joy to the Children Benefit in Lake Placid.
In his YouTube video, we see the whole house-building process, from start to finish, in just over three minutes.
18 pound gingerbread house
It's like "Extreme Home Makeover." Kind of.
We see Brett take a traditional approach when making his house. It has a sharply-sloping roof, no doubt to minimize winter maintenance during periods of heavy snowfall. And yet, only a thin piece of gingerbread separates the inside living area from the harsh outdoor elements - I just hope Mr. Gingerbread has a good job, 'cause all that money he's paying for heat is getting flushed right down the gingerbread toilet.
It is, however, in the details that we see Brett's mastery of sugar in all its forms. Talk about curb appeal - from the porthole windows to the luscious green landscaping, it's clear that Brett spared no expense. On one side of the roof alone, there are gumdrops, red and white swirly mints, chocolate squares, jellybeans, Hershey's Kisses and cinnamon imps.
While I'm sure it took Brett hours to construct, it's highly entertaining to watch it built so quickly before our eyes. But, such is the wonder of YouTube.
The Germans call them Lebkuchen. Hansel and Gretel called it a personal Hell wrought by their own temptation. I think you'll join me in calling it delicious.
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*I made this up.