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GOP response to SOTU

January 31, 2014 - John Stack
(Actual transcript from the GOP response to the President’s State of the Union address as interpreted by Thamsanqa Jantjie)

Good evening. I’m Cathy McMorris Rodgers. I was chosen to give the GOP response to the President’s state of the union because I’m a young woman and a Republican. This proves that not all Republicans are old white men and we must not be having a war on women, because, well, I’m a woman and a Republican. Duh!

This is a nation where a girl who worked at the McDonald’s Drive-Thru to help pay for college can be with you from the United States Capitol. I mean, probably not though. That girl probably is working a minimum wage job that can’t even pay for adequate housing because we won’t agree to a living wage and no one can pay their way through college with state and federal spending on higher education support being slashed by us budget hawks, but it can happen.

But the most important moments right now aren’t happening here. Figuring out how to pay the bills…Getting ready for tomorrow’s doctor’s visit…Wondering how you will ever pay for the doctors bill, or if you can get a doctor to see you because you can’t afford health insurance, so you are sitting at a clinic all day missing work just to hopefully see a doctor.

We want you to have a better life. The President wants that too. It’s one that champions free markets – and trusts people to make their own decisions, not a government that decides for you. Like health care. We want people to make their own decisions. Pay for medical care or food? Housing or clothes for your children. We want to give you, the American people a choice. President Obama wants to take that choice away from you. He wants you to be able to afford housing, food, clothing and health care. He wants to take choices away. If you have all these things, what choices would you get to make?

It helps working families rise above the limits of poverty and protects our most vulnerable. We will protect the most vulnerable by slashing food stamps. We will help the poor by not supporting a living wage. We will help those on the edge by cutting unemployment eligibility. Most people just spend their food stamps on frivolous things like popsicles and Velveeta cheese. A mother who lost her $80,000 job working in the financial services industry needs more incentive to find a job than the $15,000 a year (maximum) that unemployment will pay her to continue to look for a job that pays for health insurance and allows her to stay in her home and pay for her car and insurance. By getting rid of this last lifeline, she can rise above this and be one of those 1 million applying for 100,000 jobs.

And it’s one where Washington plays by the same rules that you do. Like Super PACs. Where everyone can choose to donate millions anonymously to buy off a Congressman (a little more for a Senator). My parents told me when I won money at a $h show “Cathy, you need to save this money so you can go to college one day!” So I did – I saved, I worked hard, and I became the first in my family to graduate from college. You too can save money. You may have to stay at home while you go to a local community college that doesn’t offer courses you want, but if you work 2,3 even 4 jobs you may be able to put yourself in debt up to your eyeballs to attend a nice State school.

Like all parents, we have high hopes and dreams for our children, but we also know what it’s like to face challenges. Three days after we gave birth to our son, Cole, we got news no parent expects. Cole was diagnosed with Down syndrome. Luckily, we have great health insurance and we both made real good money. I mean, if I had to switch jobs, getting help for Cole would have been economically unfeasible. But, we saw a gift from God. The gift was that God blessed me with money and a good job and good insurance. If you don’t believe in God, that’s probably why you don’t have good insurance and a good job, because God is punishing you.

The President talks a lot about income inequality. But the real gap we face today is one of opportunity inequality. I’m proud to stand with Ted Cruz as a proud leader in that inequality. We won’t pass anything that Obama or the Democrats propose out of the House. In fact, even if something is a good idea, if it was brought up by a Democrat, our leader John Boehner won’t even let it come up for a vote. Because when the top one percent does well, everyone else in the next one or two percent will do well also, like me.

We have plans to improve our education and training systems so you have the choice to determine where your kids go to school…so college is affordable…and skills training is modernized. Okay. We of course don’t but we hope more people go to college by borrowing from their parents, like Mitt Romney did. More people should be attending college through their parents trust funds, rather than through government handouts. The richer the one percent, the more the trust funds help pay for Muffy to go to Princeton.

Not long ago I got a letter from Bette in Spokane, who hoped the President’s health care law would save her money – but found out instead that her premiums were going up nearly $700 a month. I got the letter, but of course it goes beyond all logic that she would be paying almost $8,500 MORE a year for her health insurance. I mean, was someone paying her to have health insurance before? No, we shouldn’t go back to the way things were, but this law is not working. And that whether you’re a boy with Down syndrome or a woman with breast cancer … you can find coverage and a doctor who will treat you. Not that any Republican plan will ever do that, as we try harder every day to deny coverage for pre-existing conditions. So, people will be spending less money on that boy with Down syndrome, or time and money on breast cancer treatment. That means more time and money for other things in life! And that’s what we stand for.

So we hope the President will join us in a year of real action – by empowering people – not making their lives harder . Except if you are gay. Then we want it to be very hard for you to get good health coverage, get married, to not be fearful of losing your job because of sexual orientation. Or if you are pro-choice. We want to make it as hard as possible to even get to a Planned Parenthood clinic. We will deny millions of women low cost pre-natal care so that we can deny abortions, or make the abortions much more unsafe and life threatening. That’s what we define as freedom. As Republicans, we advance these plans every day .

If we’re successful…Tomorrow, I’ll watch my son Cole get on the school bus; others will wait in the doctor’s office or interview for that first job. They will probably not get that job because there are 10 people more qualified who will work for less than you. They will probably not be turned away from the doctor because of Obamacare, but we will do our best to turn health care back into a right only enjoyed by the privileged few. May God guide you and our President, and may God continue to bless the United States of America. (Except for the Muslims of course)


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