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The Onion becomes irrelevant

September 26, 2012 - John Stack
A writer for an online website wrote a parody of the current state of affairs of the Romney campaign. It purported that Ryan (fearful that just his association with the Romney campaign would leave a stench on his resume) had resorted to creating the nickname ‘Stench’ for Romney, and that Romney was calling Ryan ‘Gilligan’. In the way that news has come out of the Romney camp, other sites weren’t sure this was snark or fact. Some reported it as comedy, some as breaking news. One of the funniest lines I saw about the campaign was a writer saying ‘The Romney/Ryan campaign has made The Onion irrelevant” (The Onion is an online parody site).

Which leads me to wonder, ‘What is true on the Romney campaign and what is made up? See if you can spot the difference. First up a simple one. Recently, Romney’s wife was in an airplane that had to make an emergency landing. Mitt openly speculated that not having windows that roll down on a plane is a safety problem . OR – One of Romney’s reason’s for Paul Ryan as his running mate is because through a clerical error, Paul Ryan (like a good old fashioned Mormon) was actually married to two different women at once until the error was corrected after the fact. Here’s a hint to the answer – Ryan has never been divorced.

Number two. Reagardless what Obama proposes, Romney will find a way to make it look bad. When the president offered waivers for some GOP governors that wanted to try new methods to help people escape welfare, Romney was against this claiming Obama had chosen to destroy welfare by taking away the work requirement. OR – Romney’s campaign has always been about ‘results based actions’. Mitt would always be in favor of a policy that might seem to at first loosen regulations, but in the end have more people working and fewer people in the social safety. He wouldn’t ignore a common sense approach just to make political points. Answer – Come on! Mitt miss ANY opportunity to criticize Obama regardless of veracity?

Number three. Romney strengthened American-English ties by praising London’s preparedness for the Olympics and showing up for the equestrian final which his wife was involved. OR In his Magnus Opus No Apology, the Case for American Greatness, Romney described England as just ‘a small island’, and would have been lost to Hitler if not for the English Channel. If you thought Romney showed any class when meeting with the US most important and closest ally, you haven’t been paying attention.

Finally – In a New York Times Op-Ed piece, he clamored to let the big 3 automakers go bankrupt. He opined that any bailout would be the death knell for the US auto industry, while less than 4 years later he said he felt he deserved a big part in the revitalization of the Detroit auto industry. OR Romney – along with conservative Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker actually came out in favor of certain unions when their unique skills make an industry better and safer. Trick question. Both of these are true. Walker and Mittens both are decrying the fill-in NFL refs and asking for the other unionized refs to be reinstated.

This one is also true. Only your’s truly – owner and GM of Trailrunners of the Frostbite Fantasy Football league – is 3-0 after taking down previously undefeated Fightin’ LaVairs.

 
 

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